So What You’re Saying Is….

Out of all the things that are being said to me lately, this is the one that has been getting worse and worse to hear, “I don’t see how you do it. If it was my child, I would have killed myself or not ever gotten out of bed again. I just don’t know what I would do.” I have for 10 months now just responded with how you have to dig deep and do what you have to do. But now! Let me tell you what I want to say to these people! I apologize in advance for being mean.
—– Rather than try to imagine what it would be like to be in my shoes, you need to be getting on your knees and thanking God for your children. Rather than compare my grief to what you think yours would be, you need to get on your knees and thank God you don’t have this grief. And what makes you think that you would handle the grief differently? Because you think you would not get out of bed and face the day but I do, does this mean you love your child more than me? Because I have not just given in and you think you would, does this mean that I do not think my child’s death is as traumatic as you would yours? Are you implying that I am not grieving hard enough or public enough for it to be acceptable to other Moms? Am I not displaying enough sorrow and tears for your liking? How about you come and look beside my bed and see the mound of tissues from crying half the night. How about you come and see what happens behind closed doors when I have fits of sorrow so deep that I cannot even breath. How about you just not speak anymore. How about you seriously just pray that God keeps by my side and let’s me keep above water to take care of my family as long as he sees fit. I don’t need your comments any longer. I need your prayers. —–
That is what I should say. Maybe that is what I will start saying.

5 thoughts on “So What You’re Saying Is….

  1. Anonymous says:

    Say what you should, I agree with you’re comment, you have handled a tragedy better than this old man could, you are an awesome strong, Godly woman, and you have my love and prayers often, ………….my mom would be proud!

  2. They have no idea of what it takes to get out of bed each day, nor do they have any idea of what they are saying or what it means or what you are going through or, well, anything. Say whatever you wish. If someone takes offense, that is their problem. My fuse shortens a little bit each day. I wish you peace.

    • Mama P says:

      Amen. While I totally agree, I also know that people don’t understand the full meaning of their words and we analalyze every single one. All I know is we no longer have the luxury of living, we are simply trying to survive. We must do what we feel is right. It will be right sometimes and sometimes it won’t. Either way, we have done our best. God understands. My heart and head hurts so much I can’t worry about some things. We have to think of ourselves a little, too. Please, God, help us to survive.

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