Flowers from Heaven

It has been a horrible few days! Beyond the daily hiccups in life, I have just been missing my Peanut so much. I just want to hear his laughter and footsteps one more time. And not on a video, in real life.

While walking the dog this morning, I walked over where me and Preston had started a late flower garden project months ago. About 2 months ago I found some old flower seed and me and Peanut just went outside and threw them around the tilled up area. And by throw I mean we literally just threw them by the handfuls randomly. These seeds has to have been at least two years old. No way were they going to grow but being the lover of all things floral, I couldn’t throw them away. As I got closer the patch and then I saw it. The prettiest red flower standing tall in the rain with little white ones coming up around it. How in the world after the cold and rain we have had could this flower have sprouted? And being old seeds at that???

I will tell you how. God’s timing. It was meant for me to misplace the seeds after I bought them. It was meant for me to find them when I did. It was meant for me and Peanut to throw them in the garden spot. It was meant to bloom now when God knee I needed some love from Peanut. A sweet little red flower sent at just the right time. God’s timing. And Peanut’s love.

Ecclesiastes 3:2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

Dear Friend,

Dear Friend,

I am sorry that you lost your precious son. I am sorry that you lost a piece of your heart. I wish there was something that I could do to take your pain away but I know from the loss of my own son that it never goes away. It never gets better. It just becomes a more comfortable hurt.  A hurt that you will feel second of everyday for the rest of your life.

I want you know that it is okay to hurt. It is okay to cry, scream, yell and stay in the bed all day. People told me after my son’s funeral that the hard part was over. Little did they know that I spent that week in a daze and had no clue what was really going on. The day after the funeral when I woke up was when the hard part began. People were no longer coming around to hold my hand, to sit with me to fill my empty moments and fill the void. That day was the day that I had to figure out how to do a life sentence without my child. I had to figure out what to do when it was time for me to send the good morning text to him. What was I to do when time to cook supper? I only knew how to cook for a family of 5, We are now a family of 4. Who do I tell good night to now? So many things that I never even realized, now seemed to pile on me like I was trapped in a hole being filled with dirt. It felt like I was in that grave also with cold red Georgia dirt being shoveled on me too.

I want you to know that it is okay to be mad. Mad at God for taking your handsome man. Why did he do this? Did he not see the life he had here? The people that needed him? Me? You? Why your child? Why my child? What made them so special that you called them home before us? This was not the plan. It may have been God’s plan but it certainly wasn’t ours. It is okay to be mad at your child for leaving. Yes, it is okay and it will come. Why did they leave? Did they not fight hard enough to stay? Didn’t they look back and see us looking forward to our lifetime with them? Did they leap willingly into the light and grab the Father’s hand without a thought to all here who would miss them?

It is okay to feel guilty. Guilt it the one emotion that will creep in and catch you by surprise and bring you to your knees all while ripping your heart into bigger shreds. Guilty for words that shouldn’t have been spoken. Guilt for words that were never spoken. Guilt for a pop on the butt many many years before. Guilt for the what ifs, why nots, should haves and could haves. Guilt for being angry at them for being gone. Guilt for a smile that you let escape before thinking about it. Guilt for laughing a friend’s joke. For me, Guilt has been the worst of them all. I feel it everyday no matter how great of a mom I think I was to him. You will feel this way because he is not here to tell you it is okay. People can tell you that it is just another cross to bear that we should lay down, but I know we can’t.

It is okay, my friend, to tell people to leave you alone. To tell them to bugger off. We need time alone to process our feelings. To learn this new life and how to walk it. You are not expected to hold court and entertain the masses so that they feel better. This is your time. If you want people around then let them in, when ready for them to leave, throw them out.

It is okay to be overwhelmed. The pain of a mother that has lost a child is unbearable. The pain of a mother that has other living children and grandchildren to guide through this is especially unbearable. It takes a strong woman to be a complete mother to living children after losing one. There are times when you have to fake a smile when you are dying inside and then in the quiet of the night the guilt from the fakeness you shown sets in. An endless cycle we will always be in. I feel at most times like I am on a hamster wheel. Spinning and spinning and never able to jump off. Often times I wonder, what happens when I do get off? That thought is just as scary.

It is okay for you to be scared. Scared you will forget his face, laugh, voice, smile, quirks and all the things that made him yours. Even scared that one day you will get used to this pain. Scared that in your old age you will forget the memories you cherish dear. Scared for the children that are left behind. Scared that every move they make will be their last. Scared. Scared mixed with dread is now going to be with you always.

While all of this okay, it is also okay to find your way. TO FIND YOUR SMILE AGAIN. To find your laugh. To enjoy the sunshine. To enjoy the party. To enjoy the little things. To enjoy the big things. Nothing will be the same as it was ever again. But it is okay for you to try to find a bit of light in the darkness. A glimmer of hope. Hope and Faith is all we really have left. Hope that our children will get through this. Hope we will survive this. Faith that God will see us through. Faith that one day as we are bowing at our Savior’s feet, we will feel the hand of our child on our shoulder saying Mom!!!!!! Oh what a day that will be!

Please know that I am here for you. In heart, body and soul. I am a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen, to sit in silence and to scream with you. You are not alone. You are now in the club that no Mother wants to be in. A club where you are not alone and the numbers are great.  You are now in the Broken Mother’s Club.

I love you and pray for you,

Belinda, Broken Mother since December 30, 2013

I Failed My Children

I failed my children. I have made one of the biggest mistakes a parent can make. Powerful words for a Mom to say. But it is true. What could I have done that was so bad?

Well, I didn’t beat, starve or abandon them. I didn’t take them to church every Sunday like I should have. Every single Sunday I should have had them in Sunday school and then sitting in a pew with me hearing the Word of God. Oh I took them here and there. But I failed to make it a priority like food, clothes and shelter. I let them go with friends and relatives to church and youth groups. But I didn’t take them myself consistently. We were not in church every Sunday as a family.

Why didn’t I do this? There are many excuses I can make for it. I was tired. We didn’t have a church we liked. There was that thing we wanted to do. I wanted to sleep. We will go next Sunday. It’s okay, someone else will take them. Well, we have had a hectic week. My Mom and Dad are to blame for not taking me regularly. On and on I could go but they are just that excuses. But there is no excuse. It clearly says in Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. I taught my children manners, right from wrong and how to be good people. But that alone will not get them into heaven.

I am extremely thankful that the good Lord saw me failing my children and put people in their life that would lead them to be saved. I will forever regret not being that person. I do have peace of mind that their salvation is secure.

So where does that leave them now? I am in church every time the doors are open. And where are my children? Well, they are there sometimes but not every Sunday. They are adults and I cannot force them. If I had started from the start of being in that pew every Sunday, then they would wake up every Sunday out of habit and be there. Then the habit would turn into a need to be there like mine. I did not train them up in the way the real way they should go. Now they are busy on Sunday. Too much to do, they have plans with friends, or simply just don’t want to.

I have ask for forgiveness over my mistake. But I still beat myself up over it. The verse from 1 Timothy 5:8 really convicts me. It says – If any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied them faith, and is worse than an infidel. pretty bad when the Good Lord calls you like you are. I pray every day that my children will see how I jump up to go to church and tag along. I pray this cycle will be broken and they will do better than I did.

So my advice to all the ones with children… Take them to church. Let them see it as a good time and not a burden or a chore. Let them see you excited to go. Stop looking at your watch ready to bust out the door before your pew ever gets warm. Teach them. Talk with them. Pray with them. Do it now while they are young and they will standing beside you with their families when you are old.

UGH! Some Women!

Yesterday I posted on the blessing of a prayerful friend! Today I just have to vent over “friends” that are just the opposite.

We all have them in our lives. The friend that has done everything bigger and better. I have one that when she saw that I love to write and had started blogging, all of a sudden came out of the closet as a writer. I was not looking to her for praise over my writings, I had looked to her for guidance on if I should be sharing them like I do. Guidance I did not receive but I did get to hear all about how she has wrote blogs, books and magazine articles but “never published” them.

Then I have the a friend that I shared with her some of the hardships I went through as a child and how I was trying to reconcile them. She all of a sudden shared with me how her struggle was so much bigger and grander. She apparently even had to walk to school barefoot in the 2 foot of snow when she lived in South Florida. I got that story after I shared with her how we went without power at times because of my Father’s drug addiction.

How about the friend that is always sicker than you? Or their family has had scarlet fever, monkey pox, yellow fever, bubonic plague and leprosy all because you said your house was passing around a stomach virus. Why one up sickness????????

Women that just can’t let you share a life moment and be supportive. They have to find a negative. Or say you only got it because of this or that. I had one lady who is no longer in my circle say I was only getting support because I had a child die.

I have a “friend’ right now that I am really struggling with. She is constantly talking about the way her kids could die. Constantly telling me how she doesn’t want them to die like my son. Truthfully, I think she is sickly jealous that this is a struggle she can’t make up. Death of a child is nothing to brag about or covet!

So what I guess I am wanting to know is….. Why is it so hard for women to just be happy for each other? Why can we not celebrate in others joy and accomplishments without backlash? Why do we feel the need to one up? There is a big difference in sharing life experiences and testimonies and being a snarky jerkwad! As I was reading my bible this morning, I read in Proverbs 14:30, “A sound heart is the life of the flesh:But envy the rottenness of the bones.” Why do women envy?

Yes, I know at times we ponder why the blessing is happening to the other person when we have been praying for our own. That is human nature and self. I have learned one thing and that is that we will get the blessing when it is our time. When a friend receives a blessing and shares, I pray thanks for them. When a friend is sharing a struggle, I listen, give advice if I can and pray for them. If I have been through a harder yet similar trial, I share it in a way of love. If a friend tells me how their child won the spelling bee, I do not one up them by saying my child got first place at the science fair.

I have been holding back on sharing things with people that are supposed to be closest to me because I am scared of the disappointment I will receive from their response.I have even stopped sharing things with family because I no longer feel the love of each others lives. No longer do I shout praises of thanks because most are not thankful with me. I have once again tightened my circle to the women that uplift me, support me and are just filled with unbiased love.

Remember: Women should lift other women up. Women should love and pray for others even when it seems unfair!

Prayerful Friends

I actually started a post yesterday about prayer. I stopped in the middle when I got stumped and was messaging a friend of mine. Our conversation made me delete what I wrote.

My friend’s husband has been having some health issues lately. Since the start all she has asked for is prayers. Prayers is what she has gotten. It was looking like her husband was looking at major setbacks in his recovery. She asked for even more prayers. Which they got! Talking with her at the beginning of the day it was about bad health. Last night, she told me that one of the major hurdles was turning around! Prayers of thanks went up. She had thanked me earlier for praying for them. I found that to be silly to thank me for. We are good friends. Friends pray for and with each other. Truly prayerful friends that is.

I can tell you that I have surrounded myself with True Prayerful Friends. I know that if I am having a bad day with grief, I can reach out to my friends Tonya or Mrs. Laurie and prayers are said immediately. When I just need prayers of comfort and guidance, Melanie is the first one I reach out to. If I need prayers to help me watch my tongue, Misty is the one I call. When I just need a flooding of prayer, I send a mass text to the Ladies of my church. I know my new friend Sheryl is about one of the most faithful praying friends I have. When I am needing deep prayers and questioning my faith, I make a call to my pastor and his wife. I have others that I know really pray. I can feel prayers being said right when they are requested. I also know that these people along with a few others, are really gonna get to the business of praying.

I have changed from the praying person I was 18 months ago to the one I am now. Most of the time when people asked for prayer, I would wait until bedtime or when I remembered it. Now I pray immediately. I have failed so many people by using the phrase, “I will pray for you.” I would say it and then just go about my business and my life. It took seeing some of the small blessings in my life that came only after prayer from myself and others to see the real power in it. Real prayers. Sincere prayers. Now when I say I will pray for someone,it goes in a prayer book and it gets prayed on multiple times a day!

Are you a True Prayerful Friend? Or are you someone that feels comfort in just saying you will pray?

Love without color

DISCLAIMER: I am not a professional writer. I am just a housewife with thoughts in my jumbled overworked brain. I may not have used politically correct terms. I may have unknowingly offended someone and I am sorry in advance. This is my story in the words that I was raised hearing. Please read to the end before you tell me how horrible I am. You will see it all comes to a point.

My niece has made me take a look at myself over the past few months. My niece has made me see how I was wrong about things in the past. My niece and her big heart that sees no colors or differences in people has made me a better person.
Growing up in a small southern town, from a big southern family with a long line of southern traditions, there were things that just were not done. And whether you understood the reason or not, you just abided by those “unspoken laws”. You just simply did not date someone that was not of your color. Now before you go thinking that my family is some back woods thinking people, let me continue. Whether spoken or not, it just never came up really. In my Mom’s generation segregation had just happened. In my generation, I went to school with the children of the first black children that ever attended school with my white Mom. There was never a question of race that I can recall in my generation. There were whispers of my cousin that dated a black boy behind the family’s back but it was never spoken aloud. Then the whispers of one of my close friends getting pregnant by none other than a black boy. This was the first time I had ever really seen it up close and out loud. Yes, I was sheltered or had blinders on. After that friend, I saw how some of my friends had been dating the opposite “race” for quite a while now. Then came when it hit our immediate family circle, I was forced to see it head on. My younger sis moved in with a boy that was half white, half black and 100% wonderful. He fished with my boys and all of us loved him. I saw the way family treated her and it broke my heart. Not just because she was my sis but because they didn’t see how great he was especially with my kids. That relationship fizzled and a side note, she married one of the worst “white” boys known to man. { Color doesn’t make you a good person.}
Moving on…….. The biggest news of all to hit this huge southern family happened! One of my cousin’s was going to have a baby by a black man! Can you imagine!? What was this family to do??? What were people going to say? The older generation went into fits! The middle generation was just watching everyone else act a fool. The younger generation, could have cared less. This was going to be our first child of “mixed color” or “mixed seed”. The mixed seed reference from one relative made me laugh. I think regardless of color, we are all of “mixed seed”. That just always seemed so stupid to me. Anyway, the day came when this baby arrived and I fell in love with him. In fact we all did. Well most anyway. {P.s. The father wasn’t the best mate choice for my cousin. Proving of color doesn’t make a good person.} Times had changed. We all just looked at this boy and wondered how anyone could hate him because of his color. Change was happening in this bunch. This went on to another cousin dating a black man. Who by the way, we all love! They are broke up but we are still in contact with him. He watches my daughter and son like a hawk and keeps them out of trouble. I think we were more heartbroken when they broke up than they were.

So now we move on to what has inspired this blog. My niece text me  a few months ago and was upset. She started it with the phrase I hate most, “I need to talk to you and it needs to be a secret.” I thought if this girl tells me she is pregnant I am going to tell her mom and we will both beat the brakes off her. But it wasn’t. She wanted me to know that she was dating a “Black” boy. My first thought was instant relief for no baby on the way and then the thought of why is this a secret. She went on to tell me that some other relatives and such were in major disagreement over this. This was just not done they said! How could she do this to the family? My response was simply, “Does he make you happy? Does he treat you like the princess you are?” She says yes and yes! When Jeff got home, that night I told him I had something to tell him about his niece. He looked at me and said,”She better not be pregnant!” I said, “No, she is dating a black boy.” He says, “Is that all? I would have been more shocked if you told me he was white!” He said he has always “known” her preference. I didn’t get him to elaborate. This man has an uncanny sense of knowing these girls better than I ever will and of what they like!

We had planned a party here on New Year’s Day and she sent me this text, “We are coming Thursday and I wanted to know if D could come? If you say no I understand.” My response, “Why couldn’t he come? Is he not housebroken?” She says yes he is and I say then as long as he doesn’t poop on my floors he can come.  Now to why I am writing this long blog, what made her ask me this!? Why does she feel like she has to ask permission for him to come over the threshold of the Schell residence? I asked her this. She said that other family would not let D come to their house. This troubled me. Are these family members willing to risk being around this lovely niece of ours just because of color hatred? Even worse, How can these people claim to love Jesus and then hate a young man because of the color of his skin before ever meeting him? Well, she brought him to our house. He is a wonderful, polite young man. He adores my niece. He treats her like a princess. She is a handful and a half and he just smiles at all her crazy ways. And in the words of her Mom, “Until he hurts her, I support them.”

This has prompted me to look in the Bible and see where it says that I should hate him because of his color. First, I believe it says,in John 3:16 that “God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that WHOSOEVER believeth  in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” Not that all you “white” people can go to heaven. All people.  The verse that makes skin color fade for me is Galatians 3:38 “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.” Right there,doesn’t say anything about if you :are white, black, yellow, purple or polka dotted. John  7:24 sealed it, “Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgement.” Jesus said that out of his very mouth.  So there it is: Jesus said not to judge appearance. (skin color, hair color etc)

But most of all Jesus says LOVE. We are to love everyone. It says so in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. (Get a Bible and read it yourself) We should all love. If you say you love Jesus, then you should love everyone.  It is hard for me sometimes to overlook the way we were “taught” in my younger days and just love. This proving that we are taught a lot of our hate and misunderstandings. Sometimes I feel a pain of “what will the family say” when one of these many kids does something “against family tradition”. But I will say, 99% of the time, I just welcome it and love. There are good and bad of every race. We just have to surround ourselves with all the good and surround each other with love. The other 1% that I slip, I pray that God forgives me.

So my dear niece, I hope that you and D have a wonderful long life together! I want to attend both high school graduations in a few months. In the upcoming years, their college graduations. I want to dance at their wedding, spoil their children, have family dinners together. I just simply want to LOVE.

The happy couple! May they have many many years of smiles and love!

In All Things Give Thanks

Last Sunday in church, our Pastor preached from 1 Thessalonians 5:18. “In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.” I have read this many times. (Actually the whole chapter deserves a good read if you haven’t yet.) One of my favorite chapters in the bible. I have watched all this month as people put their 30 days of thanks on Facebook. I have done this in the past but this year, I just could not do it. I could not just bring myself to allow only 30 days of what I am thankful for. I spend every prayer I pray, thanking God for what I still have. I have lost so much since that horrible day last December. If there is anything that I have learned, it is to be thankful to what you have now, every single day. You never know how long you are going to have it. Even on the darkest of my days in grief, there is something to give thanks for. Even if it just being able to live another day. Do we thank God enough for all he has given us? Or do we just spend time asking for what he hasn’t?
I am thankful for so much. I am thankful first that God has been with me this year and led me to where I need to be. I am thankful that even though I am not perfect, he still loves me. I am thankful for my husband and children who love me unconditionally. I am thankful for Krista who has taught me more than I could ever teach her. I am thankful for my family who has been my backbone and support. I am thankful for my church family that has become my heart. I am thankful for our friends that know just when we need them. I am thankful that I have been able to be a Mom for 21 years. I am thankful that I have Kaelyn Faith who I think was sent to us to be a light of hope for the ones grieving. I am thankful that I have found my path and that it will help others. I am thankful to be able to help others because in the end, it is helping me just as much. I am just thankful to have another day to be thankful.
I pray each morning and thank God for letting me see another day. I pray thanks throughout the day of all the little things. At night I pray thanks that my family was safe and sound another day and that we are all under one roof. “In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.”

But Wanda Has A Brain Tumor…

Today at church, we got to stand up and tell about things we were thankful for if we so chose to. This one lady, Wanda, stood up and said, “I am thankful for God bringing me to this church. I am also thankful God gave me this brain tumor because of all it has given me and the friends I have made because of it.”Or something like that, not sure of exact wording but yes, she thanked God for her brain tumor. After church, Lisa and I were talking to her about how she just inspires us and has taught us so much in the short time we have known her. I told her I wanted to write about how she has become a part of my everyday way of thinking and she said go for it. So here it is, how Wanda and her brain tumor changed my life and way of thinking!
Wanda and her husband started coming to church about 3 months or so ago and we of course welcomed them with open arms and hearts. They are truly an awesome couple. Funny, sweet, wise and just plain enjoyable! Well, a few weeks after they started coming, Wanda started having trouble seeing out of one of her eyes. She went to the doctor and he ordered tests because he thought she may have had a stroke. Well, the doctor told her the good news was, she didn’t have a stroke. The Shingles virus was the reason she had eye problems. But there was bad news. She had a brain tumor. An inoperable one. They told her they would give her 28 days of radiation to stop the growth and that should last for 10 years or so. Well, when she got to church that Wednesday, we all wanted to know what the doctor had said. She told us and we were just heartbroken for her. But this crazy woman was smiling! She told us the eye problem was a blessing! She would have never known about the tumor if not for it! She thanked God that night for letting her find a tumor! We were just in awe of her smile and wonderful attitude. She said God had a reason and he was going to take care of her. I was just thinking about how big of a baby I had been not long before over a stubbed toe. And here she was happy! And she had a brain tumor!
Well, she has taken these now 25 out of 28 days of radiation like a champ. She is at Emory in the morning before anyone in my house even wakes up. She then goes to work. Yes, she hasn’t stopped working either. Every time we see her, call her or text her she is as cheerful as ever. We ask her what she needs and she just says, keep praying because God is in control. She has never once broken down or felt sorry for herself. Her husband told us that he has been more of a baby than her. Each time I see her I am just amazed! Did I mention she has a brain tumor? A brain tumor people! A brain tumor!
All this time while watching her I have just tried to take it in and learn from her faith. I have always tried to give it to God and not worry but sometimes it is just hard to have that much faith. The faith of a mustard seed as they say. And here Wanda is being the prime example right before me of “Give it to God and don’t worry”. It has made me not worry about the small stuff that is trivial around me. And when the big stuff happens like being stuck on the side of the road broke down or dinner burned, I just smile and think, “But Wanda has a brain tumor!” Then with a little faith and a lot of prayer, things work out.
Wanda has said she feels just blessed by the ladies of our church and their love. But we ladies are blessed because of her and all she has taught us. We have learned there are bigger things than us. We have learned not to sweat the small stuff. We have learned that faith and prayer are all you need. We have learned that GOD is in control and we should simply, “Let God”. And that nothing, not even a brain tumor, is bigger than God. So when things are rough and you just feel like giving up, do like I do and simply say, “BUT WANDA HAS A BRAIN TUMOR!!!!”
****No picture of her now. Going to wait until we celebrate her end of treatment!

Worry About Nothing

Last Friday started downhill from the moment all of our house got out of bed. Let me start over… It actually started the night before when we were in the ER for yet another knee injury on the girl child. (We averaged a few of these a year with her.) Nothing big, just sprained it severly coming across home plate. So I had to get her to school the next day since she couldn’t drive. After picking up her boyfriend, the fuel pump decided to crap out on the Rodeo at one of the busiest 4-way stops in the county. My Sis-in-Law took the kids to school and I waited for the Husband. While waiting, the Sis-in-Law came back and sat with me and we got to catch up. Husband arrives and we arrange for a tow truck. So I head home to finish getting ready. You see, Will and I had to be in Norcross to pick up some things for the next day’s memorial concert. So Will, Husband and the tow truck get back to the house and it is time for the next adventure.
Girl Child texts and says she left stuff in the Rodeo she needed so we head, 10 miles the other way to get them to her and low and behold, the key to the car we are in decides to come apart! THe silver part was in the ignition and the black part with all the buttons was in my hand. Apparently, they had to be together for the car to start! Will and I figure it out and get it fixed enough to come home to get the last running vehicle in the yard. We set off now! We get to Norcross and back without any more incidents!
Now to get ready and wait for that night’s football game and senior night. The night was to be the last night we had one of my babies on the field. While getting ready and waiting on husband to come home, he calls. “I am on the side of the road.” He was defeated! (Did I mention Boy Child gt out of work and his tires were flat? So technically now down 4 cars) I in a cheery voice tell him to not worry, we are on the way. He was very upset and defeated. His friend ended up bringing him home and I told him to quickly change clothes and put a smile on! He looked at me and said.”How can you be so cheerful! It is really making me mad. This is a horrible day. One of the worst.” I smiled and said,” This is far from the worst day we have ever had, Not even in our top 3 or 5. We are all still standing and breathing. WE may be out of cars but they can be fixed. We have never went without before. Worry about nothing, pray for everything.” I was answered with a snarl.
What else was I to say to him? I have learned that nothing that happens can defeat us. We have been through the worst. Shy of losing one of my other 2 kids, Nothing is ever that bad. In fact everything as long as we are healthy and alive is marvelous! The cars can be fixed. And if they can’t, we will get new ones! Money troubles, who cares! We have never been without a roof over our heads or food in our bellies. We have always been warm and safe. Worry about nothing, pray for everything.
I think he just doesn’t understand that the car breaking down that morning kept us out of a traffic accident on the interstate, Could have been us involved. The 2nd car messing up at the school kept us from getting 1 1/2 hours away and it doing it. I thanked God for keeping us safe. I thanked him for allowing us to all be able to see stand beside Girl Child on the field for Senior Night. That night when I said the prayers before bed, I thanked him for everything! Every single thing down to the waffle fries at lunch. And guess what? The Lord has provided, the cars are being fixed and all is well. We may be out a few hundred dollars but what is money when we still have each other?!!!!!